Hello Readers,
Friendships can be tricky. Often the worst of enemies were once our best friends.
Sometimes we can meet someone and make an instant positive or negative connection. We can instinctively know that this person is going to play a major role in our lives and we in theirs. Sometimes we know that this introduction is a bad thing and that sooner or later its all going to end in tears. Chemistry is a strange and powerful thing. The power of magnetism is often so great that no matter how bad we know someone is for us, we still go back for more bad treatment in the belief that one day things will change for the better, but in truth, they rarely do, in fact, never.
How many people do you know who have holidayed with their ‘best friends’ or borrowed a best friend’s partner to attend a wedding or other social occasion and at first everything seemed to go well. How many friends have entered into a business agreement and ventured into a new money making enterprise? Or trusted ‘family’ in business matters only to discover at a later date that it was the worst decision they ever made? Everyone in the party involved
initially makes a big thing thing of it all. They all protest too much about what a great and wonderful thing they are doing, often to try and convince themselves, but if you care to take a look beneath the surface one member of the partnership will enter into such an agreement with an ulterior motive, an agenda, although they would never admit to such a thing. Well of course they wouldn’t, who in their right mind would? Another situation is when you get two very close best friends. They do absolutely everything together. Shopping, birthday parties, holidays, Christmas celebrations etc., until one of the party tries to break away and form new friendships or in some cases enter into a new love affair and leaves the other friend feeling pushed out, used and left hung out to dry? And then feelings of jealousy , rejection and resentment kick in, not to mention the arguments, resentments and grudges that begin to formulate. This is where the famous saying of ‘Your best friend can often turn out to be your worst enemy’ originates from. Perhaps this situation has happened to you or to someone you know?
The Ancient Chinese philosophers were wise people. They always said that if friends are literally glued together, joined at the hip and inseparable, that sooner or later one of them would hurt the other. They describe it as ‘damp’ forming between them because there is no air circulating between them to keep the friendship fresh and alive. In other words, they are so co dependent on one another, or at least one of them is on the other, that an unhealthy situations begins to develop. Its never a good thing to live in one another’s pocket. Sooner or later there is bound to be misunderstandings and sometimes, so severe that no amount of bridge building and trying to repair the damage works successfully.
Its important to stand independently, learn to enjoy your own space, form other friendships, partake in interesting and stimulating activities so that conversation is always kept alive and learn to be your own person. Always remember that all people are like Rubix Cubes. There are many sides to people’s characters and personalities. You can live with a person for many years and still discover that you never really knew them. All people have secrets and all people tell lies to protect their secrets. All people have skeletons in the cupboard.
I once met a lady who was so convinced that her husband was so boring, dim, dull and plainly ‘ugly’ that no other woman would ever find him attractive. She lamented over and over again how fed up she was with her life, but refused to take any personal responsibility to introduce change. This woman had a lifestyle and her husband was the meal ticket and so she chose to remain with her dull and boring husband because she loved her home, designer clothes, holidays, private education for the children and all the trappings that went with it. Their outward appearance looked good amongst the people they socialised with and she was good at putting on a good ‘front’, until one day her husband left home for work, as per normal and never returned again. He packed his bags and said goodbye to the circus. This man had obviously had enough. He moved in with a new love he had met on the train to and from the city and thus a new friendship hatched between the pair and developed into love and companionship. This little story is nothing new in the blue print of life. These things happen all the time, but it just goes to show that you never really know anyone and the biggest mistake of all is believing that you do.
If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are that you will fall in with someone else’s plan and guess what they have planned for you? Not much.
First and foremost, learn to be your own best friend.
Until Next Week
Love and Light,
Linda and The Lulas xxx
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