Controlling Behaviour

Hello Readers,

It’s always interesting to note that the people who desperately want to change you are the ones least likely to change anything about themselves. For a control freak, the love and desire to control others is of paramount importance and once they lose control over the object of their desire, hostility takes over in full force because our anxieties do not come from thinking about the future, but the desire to control. it.

Worrying about things outside of your control wastes mental and emotional energy. Wishing circumstances were different, trying to convince people they have to do things your way and forever attempting to prevent anything bad from ever happening is exhausting. No one can prevent bad things from happening all the time, but if you think everything is within your control, you will believe that you are directly responsible every time life doesn’t go according to plan and eventually that train of thought will result in getting you down. Trying to maintain complete control leads to increased anxiety so efforts to manage your anxiety by trying to control everything in your environment will backfire sooner or later. The more unsuccessful your attempts to control the situation are, the more stressed you will inevitably become and this can lead to feelings of inadequacy and failure.

Controlling behaviour often creeps in unnoticed into a relationship as initially, to someone who is inexperienced in recognising these things, it can appear to be caring, romantic because the controller will always give the impression that he or she has your interests at heart, whereas the complete opposite is often true. Controllers believe that they are helping you and other people with their ‘constructive criticism’ or taking over a project because no one else can do it right, so another way of describing them is ‘perfectionist’.
My own personal take on this is avoid, avoid, avoid at all costs, but this is not always possible because sometimes we are born into this sort of situation, or marry or inherit it through work and business circumstances. You will notice that control freaks are the sort of people who have the potential to suck the life right out of you. They make everything about life about ‘them’ and before you realise what has happened, your entire day and night has revolved about what they want and their own self-importance. They don’t tend to make people around them feel happy because they expect everyone to agree with them and they always have to be right about everything, resulting in people feeling overwhelmed, bullied and steamrollered by them.

You may not be able to control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them, so free yourself of all the hassle and let things take their natural course.

Never compromise your self-respect by altering your core beliefs because the road to happiness always starts with you and the choices you make for yourself.

Until Next Week,

Love and Light,

Linda and The Lulas xxx