Flakey Friends

Hello Readers,

Have you ever come across so called friends, the worst kind who will use you until they have a ‘new best friend’ or partner in their lives then drop you like a ‘hot scone’ and disappear into the sunset without explanation or consideration for your feelings?

I bet their actions left you feeling extremely disappointed and angry with yourself for getting sucked in and caught up with this sort of individual, but take heart, you are not alone, there are many people who have been duped by these most ungenuine and unscrupulous individuals.   And then, you can bet your bottom dollar that when everything goes wrong for them, as its bound to at some point or other, they will be telephoning you or popping around to your home, often unannounced, in tears, same old story, here we go again, drama, drama drama, its always someone else’s fault that everything has gone belly up yet again, expecting you to pick up the pieces and give them food, wine and provide them with a new social life until they find yet another partner to repeat the same old mistakes with over and over again.  Remember, these people are only out for themselves and no one else.  No one else is that important in their lives and the warning bells you ought to heed more than anything else is when they tell you about all the friends that they have quarrelled with previously and fallen out with.  Believe them because there is never any smoke without fire.

The secret is to learn from these experiences and learn to follow your gut insticts more.  Deep down you know who is false and who is true.  There is no law to say that you have to reply to their correspondence, especially if you know the real reason why you are being contacted.  Its time to set out a few serious boundaries if you are to remain in control of your life.  Its called, self preservation.

I have learned in this life the importance of saying ‘No’ and meaning it.  A lot of people say no, no, no, no and then end up saying ‘yes, all right then’ and later regretting it because they have been coherced and bullied into submission, thus resulting in loss of power and control over their lives.  Its imporant that you put yourself and your needs first each and every time.  The last thing anyone needs is a selfish friend.

If someone really wants to be your friend, they will understand and respect your circumstances and your wishes just as you will do theirs.  True friendships should flow freely and comfortably.  There shouldnt be any stress or pressure attached.  If there is, there is something radically wrong and if you are honest, you will know exactly what the real problem is so the worst thing you can do is bury your head in the sand like a prize ostritch living a life of denial, kidding yourself into believing that everything will be ok in the end, because trust me, it wont.

In life some of us manage to grow, evolve and change, but not everyone moves in a forward direction as quicky as we do.  A lot of people choose to continue with the same behaviour habits and resent it when we make a few healthy changes, thus leaving them behind.  If they are not willing to take personal responsibility of their own lives, do remember, you are not responsible for making life nice and easy for them.  They have to learn their own lessons but rarely do.  Its too much like hard work for one thing and if a situation is actually benefitting them, they will nurture and milk it for all its worth because there is something in it for them.

Its all very well going around telling everyone else that you prefer to see the good in everyone.  It may make you sound like an nice person or a complete idiot, but do be aware that all of us have as many sides as a rubix cube.  None of us are uncomplicated, but its vitally important to recognise who is who and what it what if you are to escape the net of someone who has their beady eye on you becoming their next target, especially if you have more money than they have, a motor vehicle sitting  out side your house and time on your hands.

Until you are properly comfortable being who you are, liking who and what you have become, knowing what you need and expect out of life in order to be happy, you will never know if you are choosing a partner or friends out of love, loneliness or desperation.

Until Next Week,

Linda and The Lulas xxx