People Pleasers

Hello Readers,

There will always be people around who will stop at nothing to try to coerce and persuade you to do their bidding.  The fact that you have already told them ‘No’ does nothing to put them off from coming at you from a completely different angle in the hope that you cave in to their expectations.  In fact, they are not even offended, only more determined to find your weak spot. They will use every tool of manipulation, clever wording and emotional blackmail in an attempt to change your mind and agree to go along with their desires. They may even make you feel afraid of the consequences if you do not change your mind, against your better judgement, and say ‘Yes’. These people are very good at using the power of suggestion and planting seeds of doubt in your mind so that you begin to question yourself and wonder if it is you who is at fault.  If this is the case, I can guarantee that you will eventually end up kicking yourself hard for being so soft in the head and agreeable to handing over your power to someone who is only out for their own interests. They want you to say ‘Yes’ because it makes them look good in the eyes of others and of course, they have won that particular round battling with you.  It makes them feel good and smug to think that they have influence over your decision making and their crafty next step will be to make you feel dependent on them for friendship, guidance and advice in all matters.  They will try to make you feel as though they know best and that you know nothing at all.  They work on eroding your confidence to the point where you do not know whether you are coming or going, because that is their plan.

Continually trying to impress or please others and you will fail the person who is most important, ‘you’. The desire to impress others is one of the most painful forms of mental imprisonment. There is nothing more debilitating than wondering whether or not you are saying or doing something that is good enough and impressive enough to get other people’s approval. Its normal to want to look good and be accepted by others and lots of people try very hard to appear better and more successful than they really are. It’s often irrelevant as to who they impress, they just want to be accepted. Through looking towards other people and trying to copy their lifestyle, they are not being true to themselves. If their actions impress others, that’s fine because it makes them feel good, and more importantly, superior to others, but if they don’t get the reaction they are looking for, they could end up being all over the place because they have lost control and their self-esteem falls even lower than before. These people often lie about how much money they really have, their job titles, social status and who they rub shoulders with and name dropping during conversations in an attempt to look and sound important. This is because it is they who feel inferior to other people and feel a great need to keep point scoring in order to maintain control and power. It’s a way of distracting themselves from the real issues that are going on behind the scenes in their own lives and are happy to transfer these emotions onto other people. They are not willing to face and deal with their own personal issues and deep down, it is they who are worried and concerned about what other people actually think of them.

When you like yourself and feel comfortable in your own skin, you have no need to impress other people nor feel that you have to fit into their lifestyle. Never pretend to be what you are not, instead, just be yourself. If people love you, they will love and respect you because you have earned it by example. Realise that you are the most important person in your life. Believe in yourself and stop trying to convince others. Do what you love and love what you do.

Always remember, people pleasers make busy fools and are often filled with resentment and self-loathing whilst they are chasing around like lunatics after other people who don’t really care about anyone or anything but themselves.

Until Next Week,

Love and Light,

Linda and The Lulas xxx