Sulking

Hello Readers,

There are some people who only see what they want to see and throw their ‘teddies out of the pram’ when they are being told what they don’t want to hear, especially if it’s the truth and a few raw nerves have been touched.

Welcome to the world of the ‘Sulker’.

To be an expert Sulker, you have to have someone else to blame for your feelings. How dare other people not have the consideration to read your thoughts and know exactly what you want without you having to say anything. Remember, a ‘Sulker’ is the only one with feelings and everyone else has wronged them. It’s always someone else’s fault, never theirs. Someone needs to be punished by perhaps sending them an e mail or text, protesting how bad you have made them feel, or worse still, being totally ignored.

It’s not often the ‘Sulker’ will display guts and courage by discussing a situation on the telephone, or even facing their opposer in person because that would be far too confrontational and grown up, and besides, it gives you the opportunity to study their behaviour and body language.

‘Sulkers’ often act out some other passive, aggressive behaviour, such as storming off or slamming the door, to let you know how displeasured they are whilst looking like a toddler in demeanour, pouting, sighing and stomping around here and there with folded arms, protesting that life simply isn’t fair!!

They refuse to return calls until they are perhaps good and ready, in their time, not yours. Good manners have flown through the window by now, after all, they just want you to keep getting in touch. They bask in the attention that you give them. After all, the ‘Sulker’ is the wounded one, not you.

The ‘Sulker’ lacks compassion and empathy for others, after all, they are the only ones suffering. To keep the sulk going for as long as possible, the ‘Sulker’ will push away offers of comfort and make their victim ‘work for it’, because that is the best way of hurting them back, after all, they deserve it don’t they? The ‘Sulker’ is excellent at creating stories of how wrong everyone else is, including you, after all, what does anyone know what it feels like to be them? The ‘Sulker’ will do anything to hold onto the feeling of entitlement because its someone else’s job to make them feel better, not theirs. A ‘Sulker’ has all the time in the world to wait for someone else to make all the compromises, make the first moves and admit that they were wrong. After all, a ‘Sulker’ is always right, even when they are wrong, they are right.

‘Sulkers’ complain about getting knocked down in life because that is just typical of their bad luck. They create a rod for their own back. To succeed in this life, we have to have broad shoulders and get through it, not constantly moan and complain about it.

Sulking attracts more sulking and eventually pushes good friends away because they are tired of trying to deal with all the negativity.

But the real warning sign that you must watch out for is this. If the ‘Sulker’ can switch the charm on and off at a whim, it’s likely that they have learned this habit to perfection and know how to push the buttons and disrespect those who fall for it. Unfortunately, if you do fret and worry on their account, they have won and they have learned that they can do it again and again with the same win for them.

If you have experienced being in the company of a ‘Sulker’, your best bet is to take a backward step and make a conscious effort to walk in the opposite direction to save your own sanity. Their emotional immaturity is not your responsibility. You cannot change another person’s behaviour, but you can choose whom you befriend and associate with.

Until Next Week,

Love and Light,

Linda and The Lulas xxx