The Perils Of Being A Nice Person

Hello Readers,

When someone calls you a ‘nice’ person, there are different meanings and what does ‘nice’ mean anyway?  Sometimes an individual cannot find the right way to describe you.  Are they saying that you are funny, interesting, kind or just a push over?  People often refer to a person who is accommodating and focused on pleasing others as ‘nice’.  So the word ‘nice’ may sound complimentary, but it’s also a dangerous label to be stuck with.

During our growing up years, most of us have been told that we must always put others first and that we should always help them, willingly putting ourselves way down the ‘food chain’, thus giving ourselves a reputable image.  But some people take this too far and end up sacrificing their own needs and personal happiness in order to oblige others, who, by the way, very rarely appreciate the time and trouble it has cost.  I am sure many of you have witnessed friends and family who have utterly and completely exhausted themselves to the point of health and financial   suffering all because they were too busy trying to please everyone else. ‘Nice’ people constantly worry about what other people are thinking about them instead of having the confidence to do what is right for them during their lives.

There is also this dangerous lie that we have often been led to believe by people who think they are very grown up and know it all, that if you are nice to others, they will be nice to you.  Very often niceness invites others to use you and make unreasonable demands upon your time, thus taking you for granted and when one day you decide to stand up for yourself and tell them ‘No’ ,they then have a go at manipulating the situation so that you end up feeling as guilty as hell because you are no longer playing the game their way.  Just notice.  It’s always their way, or no way.

It’s important that to learn that ‘you’ are ‘important’ and that you have to be kind to yourself as well.  Its learning to say ‘no’ at certain times because you are also entitled to live your life the way you want to.  If you don’t do what is right for you and don’t learn to love yourself, no one else will bother to either.  Your new attitude may not go down well with people who are selfish and self-centred because you are no longer fulfilling their needs when they require them. In other words, you are no longer at their beck and call and the recipient of their rudeness.  You may even be told that you are rude and selfish, but in the grand scheme of things, does their opinion really matter that much?  Never be shocked when people let you down.  Just be mindful of the fact that you put yourself in the position of getting let down in the first place.   Once you take control of your own life, you will begin to automatically attract all the right people into your life who love and respect you for the wonderful, loving person that you are.  And, sometimes, you just need to disconnect and enjoy your own company.

Until Next Week,

Love and Light,

Linda and The Lulas xxx